I just unloaded myself from A LOT of drama.
And I'm so glad.
Yes, I still have drama to deal with.
But it's alright.
I'm done with this situation.
Forever.
That is all.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
There Ain't Nobody Who Can Comfort Me, Oh Yeah.
I'm okay.
Today wasn't the best.
But I guess it's stable now.
Got these people straight about the cell phone.
After like, 3 or more hours.
Fun.
Then Mom had a doctor's appointment.
Which was just a checkup.
Standard procedure.
So we went.
They did bloodwork.
Come to find out, her potassium was "CRITICALLY" low.
When she heard this, she wasn't surprised.
She always has issues with her potassium.
For a few years.
This time.
It was CRITICAL.
Basically either she got an IV right away.
Or spend 3 or more nights in ICU right away.
So.
Guess what we picked?
Grabbed a bite to eat.
We were supposed to be at the hospital to have the outpatient procedure done at 3:30.
Okay.
We got there at like 3:20-ish.
You know what time they got the IV in?
Seventeen.
Minutes.
After.
Five.
That's 5:17, for those of you who can't calculate time.
Craziness.
Even crazier?
It turned out to be a blessing.
Anyway.
The IV was supposed to take 4 hours.
And it did.
We got to leave at like, 9:30.
They even fed her.
It was good.
We were both pretty full from our earlier meal.
Arby's.
YumTasty.
So we ate some of the food on her plate.
I say "we" because she demanded my help as well.
The food was pretty good.
And we got to watch cable.
So we were content.
My phone died, which was unfortunate.
But we had Mom's phone & the phone in the room.
So we survived.
My phone was like, semi-dead, I should say.
It had moments of resurrection.
It was odd.
Anyway.
The time passed pretty quickly overall.
Then we left.
Came home.
To a SAM.
And no, a SAM is not a good thing.
That SAM that we have here, didn't even bother to come to the hospital.
Just sent his well-wishes over the phone.
Yet.
If said SAM was in the hospital.
And Mama and I didn't rush right over.
Even if it WAS just for an IV for potassium.
Said SAM would flip. out.
And probably wouldn't speak for days.
Yet Mom and I have to pretend that we aren't angry.
And tons of other descriptive and strong adjectives that I can't think of.
I'm pretty daggone pissed with said SAM.
As always.
Ladies, a SAM is a sad thing to have.
And Gents, a SAM is a sad thing to be.
So yeah.
Remember that word of advice.
Anywho.
We got home a little after 10.
And we've kinda just been chillin ever since.
I took a shower.
Mom is going to take one in the morning.
SAM took his already I suppose.
Whatever.
I'm exhausted.
Mom and SAM are on their way to sleep.
SAM hardly showed concern for Mom's condition.
Once again, SAM's are bad things to be/have.
Literally.
And now I'm about to head to bed.
But not before practicing my nightly ritual.
And no, it's not sexual.
It's emotional and intellectual.
But does not involve my hands being placed in places where they shouldn't be.
Just in case you were wondering.
Oh, and ps.
Day Two was easier.
Well really Day Three.
But to me, it was Day Two.
I guess I should call it Day Three.
Dang.
Well.
Day Three.
Whatever.
Easier.
Much.
A few moments.
But easier overall.
Thank Goodness.
SHABBA!
Today wasn't the best.
But I guess it's stable now.
Got these people straight about the cell phone.
After like, 3 or more hours.
Fun.
Then Mom had a doctor's appointment.
Which was just a checkup.
Standard procedure.
So we went.
They did bloodwork.
Come to find out, her potassium was "CRITICALLY" low.
When she heard this, she wasn't surprised.
She always has issues with her potassium.
For a few years.
This time.
It was CRITICAL.
Basically either she got an IV right away.
Or spend 3 or more nights in ICU right away.
So.
Guess what we picked?
Grabbed a bite to eat.
We were supposed to be at the hospital to have the outpatient procedure done at 3:30.
Okay.
We got there at like 3:20-ish.
You know what time they got the IV in?
Seventeen.
Minutes.
After.
Five.
That's 5:17, for those of you who can't calculate time.
Craziness.
Even crazier?
It turned out to be a blessing.
Anyway.
The IV was supposed to take 4 hours.
And it did.
We got to leave at like, 9:30.
They even fed her.
It was good.
We were both pretty full from our earlier meal.
Arby's.
YumTasty.
So we ate some of the food on her plate.
I say "we" because she demanded my help as well.
The food was pretty good.
And we got to watch cable.
So we were content.
My phone died, which was unfortunate.
But we had Mom's phone & the phone in the room.
So we survived.
My phone was like, semi-dead, I should say.
It had moments of resurrection.
It was odd.
Anyway.
The time passed pretty quickly overall.
Then we left.
Came home.
To a SAM.
And no, a SAM is not a good thing.
That SAM that we have here, didn't even bother to come to the hospital.
Just sent his well-wishes over the phone.
Yet.
If said SAM was in the hospital.
And Mama and I didn't rush right over.
Even if it WAS just for an IV for potassium.
Said SAM would flip. out.
And probably wouldn't speak for days.
Yet Mom and I have to pretend that we aren't angry.
And tons of other descriptive and strong adjectives that I can't think of.
I'm pretty daggone pissed with said SAM.
As always.
Ladies, a SAM is a sad thing to have.
And Gents, a SAM is a sad thing to be.
So yeah.
Remember that word of advice.
Anywho.
We got home a little after 10.
And we've kinda just been chillin ever since.
I took a shower.
Mom is going to take one in the morning.
SAM took his already I suppose.
Whatever.
I'm exhausted.
Mom and SAM are on their way to sleep.
SAM hardly showed concern for Mom's condition.
Once again, SAM's are bad things to be/have.
Literally.
And now I'm about to head to bed.
But not before practicing my nightly ritual.
And no, it's not sexual.
It's emotional and intellectual.
But does not involve my hands being placed in places where they shouldn't be.
Just in case you were wondering.
Oh, and ps.
Day Two was easier.
Well really Day Three.
But to me, it was Day Two.
I guess I should call it Day Three.
Dang.
Well.
Day Three.
Whatever.
Easier.
Much.
A few moments.
But easier overall.
Thank Goodness.
SHABBA!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
I'm Lost On A Road, Don't Know Which Way To Go.
Thank you, baby, for introducing me to this song before you left.
I swear, it will be my saving grace tonight.
"Walking around, looking for a way,
But no one tells me which way to go.
I'm caught up in a world,
A labyrinth, a maze,
Where yes men could easily be known.
I ask them no questions,
They give me no answers,
Following the wise,
But they're walking in Pampers.
Give me a cigarette,
Smoking my cancer.
Drink the pain away
But I still have no answers.
I'm lost on a road,
Don't know which way to go,
I'm losing my mind,
Losing control of the wheel
And I'm swerving,
On and off the road.
I'm lost on a road,
But survival is a must,
Don't know who I can trust,
I'm living in a rush,
I don't understand the fuss,
My brain is bout to bust.
I think I'm losing it,
I might be losing it,
I just might lose,
Am I losing my mind?
And I'm so confused,
I don't know what to do,
And I need a clue
Before I run out of time.
Am I losing it?
Am I losing it?
I think I'm losing.
I'm losing my mind.
Am I losing it?
Am I losing it?
I think I'm losing,
I'm losing my mind.
I-I-I-Ima need counseling,
I lost my mind and still haven't found it.
I used to be so well-rounded.
But now I tiptoe on hell's boundaries.
F F. Baby, A.K.A. crazy.
Trapped in a maze, therefore I am amazing.
Block E the doc, I'm just a patient,
And even with Navigation,
I'm lost on a road,
I... I... I don't know what's wrong with me
But... but I'm a keep that styrofoam with me (styrofoam, styrofoam, styrofoam).
I'm lost on a road,
And I don't know what's wrong with me,
Gorilla Zoe on the song with me,
He must be gone with me.
I think I'm losing it,
I might be losing it,
I just might lose,
Am I losing my mind?
And I'm so confused,
I don't know what to do,
And I need a clue
Before I run out of time.
Am I losing it?
Am I losing it?
I think I'm losing.
I'm losing my mind.
Am I losing it?
Am I losing it?
I think I'm losing,
I'm losing my mind.
I'm making this money-
Just to go spend it.
Living the good life-
Hope nobody ends it.
But who are you kidding?
Ay who are you lying to?
You know if they want you,
Best believe they will find you.
I'm lost on a road,
And there's no one to talk to,
There's nowhere to run to,
I'm going in circles,
I'm talking to myself-
Got me blazing this purple.
I think I'm losing it,
I might be losing it,
I just might lose,
Am I losing my mind?
And I'm so confused,
I don't know what to do,
And I need a clue
Before I run out of time.
Am I losing it?
Am I losing it?
I think I'm losing.
I'm losing my mind.
Am I losing it?
Am I losing it?
I think I'm losing,
I'm losing my mind."
You know, it's crazy.
That song would normally keep me torn up.
And make me cry.
And make me think of him.
And just make me upset in general.
And give me the butterflies.
And again make me think of him.
And make me wish he was here.
And make me remember the day when we first listened to this song.
And make me remember his reaction when I told him I downloaded it.
And make me remember his reaction when I told him I downloaded it and fell in love with it.
And make my nerves shoot me upside the head.
But instead.
It's so...relaxing.
Maybe because it's like.
I know where he is.
Even though we're thousands of miles part.
He's listening to this song in his head.
And in his heart.
And it's keeping him strong.
Even though it's such a depressing song based on the lyrics.
It's just.
Crazy.
I can't digest it.
Maybe I'm not meant to.
Maybe that's not the only thing I'm not meant to digest.
And you know, the more I think about these lyrics.
It's like.
Okay.
Part of this song is meant for me right now.
Like the lyrics accurately portray how I feel.
But then.
There are a couple of parts and lyrics that I'm sure just describe him perfectly at this moment.
I can't understand how one song could take on so many different meanings.
This is one deep song.
And we're two deep people.
To love it this much.
And I'm just over-analyzing stuff.
As.
Usual.
I sound like I'm writing something for an AP English class.
But this is just.
How I feel.
Which is strange.
That it took this depressing song to tell me how I feel.
I'm odd.
SHABBA!
I swear, it will be my saving grace tonight.
"Walking around, looking for a way,
But no one tells me which way to go.
I'm caught up in a world,
A labyrinth, a maze,
Where yes men could easily be known.
I ask them no questions,
They give me no answers,
Following the wise,
But they're walking in Pampers.
Give me a cigarette,
Smoking my cancer.
Drink the pain away
But I still have no answers.
I'm lost on a road,
Don't know which way to go,
I'm losing my mind,
Losing control of the wheel
And I'm swerving,
On and off the road.
I'm lost on a road,
But survival is a must,
Don't know who I can trust,
I'm living in a rush,
I don't understand the fuss,
My brain is bout to bust.
I think I'm losing it,
I might be losing it,
I just might lose,
Am I losing my mind?
And I'm so confused,
I don't know what to do,
And I need a clue
Before I run out of time.
Am I losing it?
Am I losing it?
I think I'm losing.
I'm losing my mind.
Am I losing it?
Am I losing it?
I think I'm losing,
I'm losing my mind.
I-I-I-Ima need counseling,
I lost my mind and still haven't found it.
I used to be so well-rounded.
But now I tiptoe on hell's boundaries.
F F. Baby, A.K.A. crazy.
Trapped in a maze, therefore I am amazing.
Block E the doc, I'm just a patient,
And even with Navigation,
I'm lost on a road,
I... I... I don't know what's wrong with me
But... but I'm a keep that styrofoam with me (styrofoam, styrofoam, styrofoam).
I'm lost on a road,
And I don't know what's wrong with me,
Gorilla Zoe on the song with me,
He must be gone with me.
I think I'm losing it,
I might be losing it,
I just might lose,
Am I losing my mind?
And I'm so confused,
I don't know what to do,
And I need a clue
Before I run out of time.
Am I losing it?
Am I losing it?
I think I'm losing.
I'm losing my mind.
Am I losing it?
Am I losing it?
I think I'm losing,
I'm losing my mind.
I'm making this money-
Just to go spend it.
Living the good life-
Hope nobody ends it.
But who are you kidding?
Ay who are you lying to?
You know if they want you,
Best believe they will find you.
I'm lost on a road,
And there's no one to talk to,
There's nowhere to run to,
I'm going in circles,
I'm talking to myself-
Got me blazing this purple.
I think I'm losing it,
I might be losing it,
I just might lose,
Am I losing my mind?
And I'm so confused,
I don't know what to do,
And I need a clue
Before I run out of time.
Am I losing it?
Am I losing it?
I think I'm losing.
I'm losing my mind.
Am I losing it?
Am I losing it?
I think I'm losing,
I'm losing my mind."
You know, it's crazy.
That song would normally keep me torn up.
And make me cry.
And make me think of him.
And just make me upset in general.
And give me the butterflies.
And again make me think of him.
And make me wish he was here.
And make me remember the day when we first listened to this song.
And make me remember his reaction when I told him I downloaded it.
And make me remember his reaction when I told him I downloaded it and fell in love with it.
And make my nerves shoot me upside the head.
But instead.
It's so...relaxing.
Maybe because it's like.
I know where he is.
Even though we're thousands of miles part.
He's listening to this song in his head.
And in his heart.
And it's keeping him strong.
Even though it's such a depressing song based on the lyrics.
It's just.
Crazy.
I can't digest it.
Maybe I'm not meant to.
Maybe that's not the only thing I'm not meant to digest.
And you know, the more I think about these lyrics.
It's like.
Okay.
Part of this song is meant for me right now.
Like the lyrics accurately portray how I feel.
But then.
There are a couple of parts and lyrics that I'm sure just describe him perfectly at this moment.
I can't understand how one song could take on so many different meanings.
This is one deep song.
And we're two deep people.
To love it this much.
And I'm just over-analyzing stuff.
As.
Usual.
I sound like I'm writing something for an AP English class.
But this is just.
How I feel.
Which is strange.
That it took this depressing song to tell me how I feel.
I'm odd.
SHABBA!
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