Well hey.
I'm here.
It's me.
Alllllllllllllie.
Been doing some OSTG writing!
That's exciting.
Hope my loverlies are doing well.
So this morning was shit.
I was in a hardcore depression stage.
But I'm better now :]
I still physically feel like shit because I'm kinda sick.
Like my chest has been hurting.
I'm having acid reflux issues.
I'm coughing a lot.
I've had a headache.
And I basically have no appetite.
I've hardly eaten all day.
About 6 or 8 saltine crackers with a smear of potted meat.
That was the first food I'd had all day, and it was 3:00 or after by then.
And a scrambled egg and a hot dog split in half and browned in the frying pan.
And I wasn't even really hungry.
I just knew I better eat before I started getting lightheaded or something.
Mama was like "Girl you better eat! Be done got up there in front of the judge and just *clunkclunk* passed out!"
So I ate the potted meat.
Then the egg and hot dog was for dinner.
It was pretty good.
But I just look at food and get nauseous at the thought of it.
I opened the cabinet and had to hold myself back from throwing up.
It was ridiculous.
So yeah haha.
Could be brought on by stress.
Most likely is, actually.
But other than that, I'm alright.
So I was talking to Shane.
Decided to go ahead and get up and do my hair.
Seeing as how it was on Tina Turner status.
Once I did that I took a shower and got dressed and ready for court.
Went and did a case.
Then came home.
Went out with Mama and Josh to Uncle E's house.
We had to go check on something for his pool for him.
Then we went to Wal-Mart and checked for a liner for his pool.
Epic. Fail.
On Wal-Mart's part, anyway.
THEY DON'T EVEN SELL LINERSSSS!
For any pool!!!!!
That's ridiculous.
Then we came home and have been chillin ever since.
Shane just got home a little bit ago.
I'm about to take some medicine and be knocked out :/
Well it'll be refreshing since I hardly slept last night.
I literally got like an hour and a half of sleep... if that.
So yeah.
Anyway.
Enough of this pity party.
I'd like to extend a congratulations to iJustine for winning Price Is Right todayyy!
Well it wasn't today, but it was aired today.
It was great!!
I watched it :]
Well now I'm gonna go write some more OSTG before I fall asleep from the medicine.
Fun fun.
I'm talking to Twin right now, though.
That's superduper fun!
I've missed him.
Even though we've talked off and on all day.
And talked briefly last night.
Interesting.
Haha.
SHABBA!
:]
Monday, June 28, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
"We Only Got 86 400 Seconds In A Day, To Turn It All Around Or To Throw It All Away.
Hey.
Back.
It's me.
Anyway.
Today was great.
Minus one detail this morning.
And when I posted that last blog.
So this morning.
I woke up LATE.
Like almost 11.
When I'm normally waking up around like 9.
That was crazy.
Then I literally sat there for 2 or 3 minutes because my eyes were like, stuck in the shut position.
I thought I was just still tired or something.
So finally I got up.
Went to pee.
Happened to look in the mirror when I shut the door and saw that my eyes looked swolen.
I didn't think much of it, just shrugged it off and peed and washed my hands and face and walked out.
Then I was sitting in the chair and happened to look over at the mirror near me in the china cabinet.
My eyes STILL looked swolen.
So I hopped up and looked in the mirror and it was in fact swolen reallllly badly.
The left one was hideous.
Almost swolen shut.
The right one was swolen pretty bad too.
I asked Mom if they looked swolen and she said yes.
Then we figured out what it was.
Yesterday, while Larry was here, I was out in the yard working out.
Playing soccer, volleyball, running, and attempting to do some tumbling.
I need to learn like really bad.
Here I am, a cheerleading coach and can't even tumble.
I suck.
So I started doing some cartwheels, roundoffs, attempts at handsprings.
Failed attempts, I may add.
Then I started to get dizzy and feel sick, so I stopped.
Came inside.
Got something to drink and sat down.
Relaxed for a minute.
Of course I was sweating really bad so I was wiping my face free of sweat.
My hands that had, of course, been in the pollen, ragweed-filled grass.
Both of which I'm heavily allergic to.
So yeah.
You see what happened there.
Anyway, the rest of the day was great.
Josh went off to work on a few cars.
Mom and I were here cooking (fun for us, actually), cleaning a little, and just relaxing overall.
Then Josh came home and thoroughly pissed me off.
Hence the last blog.
I probably overreacted.
But I was mad.
He came in with an attitude, no cigarettes for Mom like he had promised, and no food for HIMSELF like he so rudely said he was going to get on the way home.
Then he was yelling about stuff and just being a general jerk.
And I was just like "How does one person come in and ruin my day like that? Is it possible?
Anyway.
So now I'm doing nothing.
I took some allergy medicine and I'm about to go to bed in a little bit.
And snore.
And dream.
And all that :)
Shane's good.
I just talked to him earlier.
He's in Dallas at an audition.
:)
I love him to pieces.
So yeah.
I'm basically lost for words.
I have nothing exciting to report haha.
Today was WAYYYYYYYY less stressful than the past few days have been.
Lately I've been on edge like crazy.
Today I was just relaxed.
That's good :)
I mean the stressful situations are still there, but I was able to kind of avoid them for a while.
Mentally and actually too.
So yeah.
Now I'm looking for a dress.
Shane wants to take me to this dinner thing next weekend.
I need a white dress.
He's willing to buy it at any price, he said.
Even if its like $500.
So that's... wow.
I'm looking at this one that's like $199.
That's good compared to his original estimate of $500.
And I have the perfect shoes to go with it.
I mean it's an outrageous price for a dress, I know.
But apparently its like this red carpet gala sort of thing, so I have to look amazing.
So I'm definitely getting my hair done haha.
Nails and toes too, probably.
Wonder if I can talk him into going with me...
Hehe ;)
SHABBA!
Back.
It's me.
Anyway.
Today was great.
Minus one detail this morning.
And when I posted that last blog.
So this morning.
I woke up LATE.
Like almost 11.
When I'm normally waking up around like 9.
That was crazy.
Then I literally sat there for 2 or 3 minutes because my eyes were like, stuck in the shut position.
I thought I was just still tired or something.
So finally I got up.
Went to pee.
Happened to look in the mirror when I shut the door and saw that my eyes looked swolen.
I didn't think much of it, just shrugged it off and peed and washed my hands and face and walked out.
Then I was sitting in the chair and happened to look over at the mirror near me in the china cabinet.
My eyes STILL looked swolen.
So I hopped up and looked in the mirror and it was in fact swolen reallllly badly.
The left one was hideous.
Almost swolen shut.
The right one was swolen pretty bad too.
I asked Mom if they looked swolen and she said yes.
Then we figured out what it was.
Yesterday, while Larry was here, I was out in the yard working out.
Playing soccer, volleyball, running, and attempting to do some tumbling.
I need to learn like really bad.
Here I am, a cheerleading coach and can't even tumble.
I suck.
So I started doing some cartwheels, roundoffs, attempts at handsprings.
Failed attempts, I may add.
Then I started to get dizzy and feel sick, so I stopped.
Came inside.
Got something to drink and sat down.
Relaxed for a minute.
Of course I was sweating really bad so I was wiping my face free of sweat.
My hands that had, of course, been in the pollen, ragweed-filled grass.
Both of which I'm heavily allergic to.
So yeah.
You see what happened there.
Anyway, the rest of the day was great.
Josh went off to work on a few cars.
Mom and I were here cooking (fun for us, actually), cleaning a little, and just relaxing overall.
Then Josh came home and thoroughly pissed me off.
Hence the last blog.
I probably overreacted.
But I was mad.
He came in with an attitude, no cigarettes for Mom like he had promised, and no food for HIMSELF like he so rudely said he was going to get on the way home.
Then he was yelling about stuff and just being a general jerk.
And I was just like "How does one person come in and ruin my day like that? Is it possible?
Anyway.
So now I'm doing nothing.
I took some allergy medicine and I'm about to go to bed in a little bit.
And snore.
And dream.
And all that :)
Shane's good.
I just talked to him earlier.
He's in Dallas at an audition.
:)
I love him to pieces.
So yeah.
I'm basically lost for words.
I have nothing exciting to report haha.
Today was WAYYYYYYYY less stressful than the past few days have been.
Lately I've been on edge like crazy.
Today I was just relaxed.
That's good :)
I mean the stressful situations are still there, but I was able to kind of avoid them for a while.
Mentally and actually too.
So yeah.
Now I'm looking for a dress.
Shane wants to take me to this dinner thing next weekend.
I need a white dress.
He's willing to buy it at any price, he said.
Even if its like $500.
So that's... wow.
I'm looking at this one that's like $199.
That's good compared to his original estimate of $500.
And I have the perfect shoes to go with it.
I mean it's an outrageous price for a dress, I know.
But apparently its like this red carpet gala sort of thing, so I have to look amazing.
So I'm definitely getting my hair done haha.
Nails and toes too, probably.
Wonder if I can talk him into going with me...
Hehe ;)
SHABBA!
"There Oughta Be A Law, Get The Sheriff On The Phone"
There oughta be a law that states that a person cannot be as angry as I am right now.
I was having a WONDERFUL, FANTASTIC, GREAT, KICK-ASS day, until now.
I understand that I'm 20 days late on my next post, and I sincerely apologize for that.
I just pray that you'll listen to what I have to say next.
Thank you.
Here goes.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
That's all.
I'll post more later.
SHABBA!
I was having a WONDERFUL, FANTASTIC, GREAT, KICK-ASS day, until now.
I understand that I'm 20 days late on my next post, and I sincerely apologize for that.
I just pray that you'll listen to what I have to say next.
Thank you.
Here goes.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
That's all.
I'll post more later.
SHABBA!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Power, Oh Power, Is The Force Of Love.
MJ Quote.
All I have to say for now, is that I'm practicing my lawyer skills.
And no, not at work.
In my real life.
I'm ready.
Just come at me, bitches, and its on.
I'm in rare form right now, and I can't wait for someone to step to me with an argument.
They forget what I do for a living.
Allie is nice.
Almost always.
Until you get on her bad side.
That's right.
Bad side.
Allie has a bad side.
And you all are on it.
Almost everyone.
So yes.
Allie's pissed.
Allie. Est. Angaerao.
Angry.
Annnnnnnnnngryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
Just for anyone who happens to care.
SHABBA!
All I have to say for now, is that I'm practicing my lawyer skills.
And no, not at work.
In my real life.
I'm ready.
Just come at me, bitches, and its on.
I'm in rare form right now, and I can't wait for someone to step to me with an argument.
They forget what I do for a living.
Allie is nice.
Almost always.
Until you get on her bad side.
That's right.
Bad side.
Allie has a bad side.
And you all are on it.
Almost everyone.
So yes.
Allie's pissed.
Allie. Est. Angaerao.
Angry.
Annnnnnnnnngryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
Just for anyone who happens to care.
SHABBA!
Friday, June 4, 2010
"I'm Tired of Being the Victim of Fate."
Thank you, MJ, for that line.
Hey.
I'm going to bed soon.
I'm working on OSTG now.
I'm exhausted, and have a headache.
It was a migraine, but now its sort of turned into a dull pain.
But I feel the migraine coming back.
So I figure I should lay down soon.
But I'm not trying to be a complaining bitch, so I say the following.
"I'm alive, and that's all that matters."
So true.
Anyway.
Today was... less hectic... but still busy.
Went to Beuford.
Went over to Daddy's to get the mail.
(sidenote: he's been picking up the mail for us since we haven't been at home and keeping it for us and we pick it up from him when we come up there.)
Went to the post office.
Then to Hardee's.
Texas Toast Sandwich.
Yummayyy.
Then Mama and I went home.
Daddy showed up a little later.
We went grocery shopping.
Went to my grandma's.
Came back home.
Mama, Daddy & I chilled & talked.
Then he left.
Then we got stuff together to bring down here and left.
Not long after we got here, the kids came over.
Linda was here too.
Then she left to go get a new phone.
Mama and I watched the kids while she went and did that.
When she came back, she came over here again.
We all sat and talked, and I continued to watch the kids.
Then they left.
And we haven't been doing anything since they left.
Mama and I ate.
Jr went out on a call.
We've been talking about beach stuff.
Then I started writing OSTG.
And talking to someone who I probably shouldn't have.
But I can't help it.
That's another stressful and complicated situation in my life.
Anyway.
So now I'm gonna probably start hand-writing some OSTG.
Maybe.
But then I'm going to bed.
:)
This is a good thing haha.
I think Mama and I are getting up early in the morning and going yard sailing.
That's super fun :)
Hopefully we'll find some stuff that we don't need, but want anyway.
That's always what happens.
That's the fun part :)
Kidding.
Anyway.
Shane will be here soon.
I'm excited about this development.
He's becoming a bigger part of my life now a days, and I'm so thankful for his presence.
There's quite a few situations lately that I don't think I could have survived without him.
Seriously.
Wanna know what scares/worries me?
I said the same thing about Wes.
That's not fun.
:(
But this isn't serious.
Shane and I are just friends.
Not like that.
So that's one thing that may prevent that.
So yeah.
:)
This is good :)
SHABBA!
Hey.
I'm going to bed soon.
I'm working on OSTG now.
I'm exhausted, and have a headache.
It was a migraine, but now its sort of turned into a dull pain.
But I feel the migraine coming back.
So I figure I should lay down soon.
But I'm not trying to be a complaining bitch, so I say the following.
"I'm alive, and that's all that matters."
So true.
Anyway.
Today was... less hectic... but still busy.
Went to Beuford.
Went over to Daddy's to get the mail.
(sidenote: he's been picking up the mail for us since we haven't been at home and keeping it for us and we pick it up from him when we come up there.)
Went to the post office.
Then to Hardee's.
Texas Toast Sandwich.
Yummayyy.
Then Mama and I went home.
Daddy showed up a little later.
We went grocery shopping.
Went to my grandma's.
Came back home.
Mama, Daddy & I chilled & talked.
Then he left.
Then we got stuff together to bring down here and left.
Not long after we got here, the kids came over.
Linda was here too.
Then she left to go get a new phone.
Mama and I watched the kids while she went and did that.
When she came back, she came over here again.
We all sat and talked, and I continued to watch the kids.
Then they left.
And we haven't been doing anything since they left.
Mama and I ate.
Jr went out on a call.
We've been talking about beach stuff.
Then I started writing OSTG.
And talking to someone who I probably shouldn't have.
But I can't help it.
That's another stressful and complicated situation in my life.
Anyway.
So now I'm gonna probably start hand-writing some OSTG.
Maybe.
But then I'm going to bed.
:)
This is a good thing haha.
I think Mama and I are getting up early in the morning and going yard sailing.
That's super fun :)
Hopefully we'll find some stuff that we don't need, but want anyway.
That's always what happens.
That's the fun part :)
Kidding.
Anyway.
Shane will be here soon.
I'm excited about this development.
He's becoming a bigger part of my life now a days, and I'm so thankful for his presence.
There's quite a few situations lately that I don't think I could have survived without him.
Seriously.
Wanna know what scares/worries me?
I said the same thing about Wes.
That's not fun.
:(
But this isn't serious.
Shane and I are just friends.
Not like that.
So that's one thing that may prevent that.
So yeah.
:)
This is good :)
SHABBA!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
"Well Done."
So I'm not trying to copy you Twin, but this was one of the multiple quotes of the day.
My mom and I decided that we're gonna make that our new phrase.
When someone does something ridiculous, we're going to sarcastically say "Well done."
So.
In reference to today.
*claps excessively*
Well done.
Today... has been a hectic day.
I have never been so glad to sit down and take a load off than I was today.
I don't even have the strength to go into the last few days' events.
I'll briefly do it though, because I love you.
Well, Henry went back to the doctor today like he was supposed to.
The doctor was taking forever and he was tired.
He told Kaitlyn he was gonna lay his head over & take a nap until the doctor came in.
About a minute or two later, he was unresponsive.
Kaitlyn thought he was playing, and then his eyes rolled back in his head & he wouldn't respond to her.
They took him to the hospital, and Kaitlyn and Melody literally thought he was dead.
Apparently he's allergic to Lortab's.
A pain medicine.
And he didn't know.
Anyway.
Melody calls mama, crying, saying whats going on, and we rush over there.
They gave him three doses of this... reverse effect kind of medicine... that makes whatever medicine you have in your system kind of like... reverse... it's complicated.
Anyway.
It made the allergic reaction stop.
Then they got him to come to.
When we got there, he was awake and alert, but he would just stare into space and only talk when asked a question.
It was creepy, like looking at my dad when he was sick.
I just... ugh.
Anyway.
We had to leave soon after we got there to go to a meeting with Mama's lawyer, so we did that.
That lasted like 10 minutes.
Left.
Came home for a few minutes.
I went next door to Linda's and told her that we were going to go get the pizza and cake in just a minute.
[sidenote: Today was her birthday, and we wanted to do something special for her]
She came over.
As soon as she walked in over here, we observed some strange business going on in our neighborhood and suspected that someone had been robbed or something down the street, or that someone was up to no good.
It was super weird.
Anyway.
So Linda had her kids in the house next door.
An 8-year old and a 4-year old.
Both are smart as all get out.
Anyway.
And she didn't want them over there by themselves with whatever that was going on, going on.
So she got them and brought them over here with us.
So I got to babysit them while Mama and Linda talked.
You'd think it'd be hard, since I've never babysat before in my life.
But in reality, I loved it.
I really realized tonight how much I love kids.
Well, they were here with us from that point on.
They wanted to go with us to get the pizza & cake, and didn't wanna ride with their Mom to go get their dad.
So we took them with us.
Then everyone got together and ate.
Minus their dad.
Well he's not their dad.
He's Linda's fiance'.
Anyway.
Long story short, he stayed over there, but the rest of us ate over here.
Minus Shane.
He was working.
But then I had to continue to babysit them for like 3 hours.
Which was cool with me.
I loved it!
Anyway.
So they left because they have school tomorrow.
And its their last day.
Andddd when they get out of school, they're supposed to be coming over here to play.
That's cool with me!
I sound like a pedophile.
Anyway.
I don't mind it.
But I'll tell you.
I was already exhausted before they got here.
But by the time they left?????
Oh.
No.
I'm so tired right now, I'm typing with my eyes closed and I just know when I hit the wrong button and I backspace and fix it.
So yeah.
Annnnnyway, that's what my day was like.
At least Mama and I did get to actually have some boding time earlier. We went and got some lunch, then sat out under the trees in the shade downtown and watched people.
What we love to do.
So yeah.
That was good.
But now.
I'm going to bed.
I have a migraine, because I was thinking about what happened yesterday [please see next post underneath for more details].
I'm taking some medicine, and hitting the hay.
I guess you say, "that girl ALWAYS has something wrong with her, huh? ALWAYS has something to complain about, huh?", don't you Blogger?
I guess I do.
I need to work on that.
I'm just thankful to be here.
So if I'm tired, or my ankle hurts, or I have a migraine, I should just be thankful that I'm alive to feel these things, right?
That's the way I see it.
Optimism.
SUPERShabba !
My mom and I decided that we're gonna make that our new phrase.
When someone does something ridiculous, we're going to sarcastically say "Well done."
So.
In reference to today.
*claps excessively*
Well done.
Today... has been a hectic day.
I have never been so glad to sit down and take a load off than I was today.
I don't even have the strength to go into the last few days' events.
I'll briefly do it though, because I love you.
Well, Henry went back to the doctor today like he was supposed to.
The doctor was taking forever and he was tired.
He told Kaitlyn he was gonna lay his head over & take a nap until the doctor came in.
About a minute or two later, he was unresponsive.
Kaitlyn thought he was playing, and then his eyes rolled back in his head & he wouldn't respond to her.
They took him to the hospital, and Kaitlyn and Melody literally thought he was dead.
Apparently he's allergic to Lortab's.
A pain medicine.
And he didn't know.
Anyway.
Melody calls mama, crying, saying whats going on, and we rush over there.
They gave him three doses of this... reverse effect kind of medicine... that makes whatever medicine you have in your system kind of like... reverse... it's complicated.
Anyway.
It made the allergic reaction stop.
Then they got him to come to.
When we got there, he was awake and alert, but he would just stare into space and only talk when asked a question.
It was creepy, like looking at my dad when he was sick.
I just... ugh.
Anyway.
We had to leave soon after we got there to go to a meeting with Mama's lawyer, so we did that.
That lasted like 10 minutes.
Left.
Came home for a few minutes.
I went next door to Linda's and told her that we were going to go get the pizza and cake in just a minute.
[sidenote: Today was her birthday, and we wanted to do something special for her]
She came over.
As soon as she walked in over here, we observed some strange business going on in our neighborhood and suspected that someone had been robbed or something down the street, or that someone was up to no good.
It was super weird.
Anyway.
So Linda had her kids in the house next door.
An 8-year old and a 4-year old.
Both are smart as all get out.
Anyway.
And she didn't want them over there by themselves with whatever that was going on, going on.
So she got them and brought them over here with us.
So I got to babysit them while Mama and Linda talked.
You'd think it'd be hard, since I've never babysat before in my life.
But in reality, I loved it.
I really realized tonight how much I love kids.
Well, they were here with us from that point on.
They wanted to go with us to get the pizza & cake, and didn't wanna ride with their Mom to go get their dad.
So we took them with us.
Then everyone got together and ate.
Minus their dad.
Well he's not their dad.
He's Linda's fiance'.
Anyway.
Long story short, he stayed over there, but the rest of us ate over here.
Minus Shane.
He was working.
But then I had to continue to babysit them for like 3 hours.
Which was cool with me.
I loved it!
Anyway.
So they left because they have school tomorrow.
And its their last day.
Andddd when they get out of school, they're supposed to be coming over here to play.
That's cool with me!
I sound like a pedophile.
Anyway.
I don't mind it.
But I'll tell you.
I was already exhausted before they got here.
But by the time they left?????
Oh.
No.
I'm so tired right now, I'm typing with my eyes closed and I just know when I hit the wrong button and I backspace and fix it.
So yeah.
Annnnnyway, that's what my day was like.
At least Mama and I did get to actually have some boding time earlier. We went and got some lunch, then sat out under the trees in the shade downtown and watched people.
What we love to do.
So yeah.
That was good.
But now.
I'm going to bed.
I have a migraine, because I was thinking about what happened yesterday [please see next post underneath for more details].
I'm taking some medicine, and hitting the hay.
I guess you say, "that girl ALWAYS has something wrong with her, huh? ALWAYS has something to complain about, huh?", don't you Blogger?
I guess I do.
I need to work on that.
I'm just thankful to be here.
So if I'm tired, or my ankle hurts, or I have a migraine, I should just be thankful that I'm alive to feel these things, right?
That's the way I see it.
Optimism.
SUPERShabba !
"Cause I Ain't Never Seen A Country Boy, With Tires On His Truck This High."
Yesterday.
Has been one of the most hectic days of my life.
Not the most hectic.
But definitely in the top 10.
It started off normal.
Running a few errands, talking to Grandma and Daddy, whatever.
Linda came over here, and that's becoming the new norm.
Which I'm pretty happy with that.
Love her to pieces.
Anyway.
Melody pops in and asks if I want to go to CVS with her & Kaitlyn to get some hair stuff.
I reluctantly agreed.
So here we go, and pull in the parking lot at CVS.
Kaitlyn's phone rings.
Henry's work.
He's been injured at work and we had to pick him up immediately and take him to the urgent care clinic that they work with.
Okay.
So Melody still made it an issue to run into CVS.
They couldn't wait to buy some fingernails to put on, and hairspray?
Really?
Oh, and mousse.
That couldn't wait to go get him?
Anyway.
Then we went and got him.
The poor boy's foot was swelled up to the size of my thigh.
It was a mixture of bright hot pink, deep red, neon blue, and a pretty shade of purple.
Ridiculous.
A pallet full of boxes, altogether it weighed approximately 400-500 lbs.
Fell on his foot.
I felt the pain for him, because I know how it feels to have a foot injury like that.
Twice.
Anyway.
Took him over there.
I ended up having to fill out the paperwork because Melody was too nervous and Henry was in too much pain.
Kaitlyn just stayed out of it because Melody insisted that she did because all she did was yell at her the entire time.
That made me mad as it was.
Anyway.
Then they got him back there, the doctor looked at it and said he'd take an x-ray and give him Ibuprofen for pain.
True, Ibuprofen probably isn't gonna do much.
But these pain-killer addicts decide to make a big hooplah about the fact that he needs something stronger to kill the pain.
This fool Melody is gonna LEAVE THE EXAM ROOM and track down a nurse, and ask for something stronger.
They got the doctor to change it to something else.
A shot.
Supposedly that started to take the edge of the pain off.
I mean I understand that he needed something stronger.
But really?
Did they have to make a big deal out of it like they did?
Anohun.
Anyway.
Then the doctor said it wasn't broken according to the x-ray and that he wanted to see Henry back in there today to see if the swelling had gone down or gotten bigger or what.
They made him an appointment for today while he was taking his drug test.
(sidenote: Anytime this company he works for sends people from the job to this place, they have to have a drug test)
And a note for work for today.
Of course Melody didn't like that, because that means he can't get out and make that $$$$$$$$.
She's starving like a shark for $$$$$$$$$$$$$.
And its fracking annoying.
Ugh.
Then we went to Walgreens to get his prescription.
Lord have mercy, this was gonna take 30 minutes or longer.
I wouldnt've minded that normally.
But I was with Melody.
It's not Kaitlyn that I minded being with.
It's Melody.
Don't get me wrong.
I love her.
But.
She.
Irks.
Me.
And.
Gets.
Under.
My.
Skin.
Like.
You.
Would.
Not.
Believe.
I just... I can't deal with it.
She wanted some "of the good name brand of clear nail polish like you have."
Then she wanted color.
Then she wanted sparkles.
Then she wanted clear again.
Then this brand was wrong.
Then this brand was right, but it was the wrong color.
I mean, this GROWN WOMAN was acting like a LITTLE GIRL about what fingernail polish to buy!
And I tried to help her.
I just gave up.
Walked away.
And tried to calm myself in an effort to keep from going off.
Anyway.
Got his prescription, I got some un-needed sweets and some much-needed headbands.
Got checked out, then ignored by this dude at the counter.
Got Henry's meds.
Continued to be talked all over, and continued to get pissed.
Then, of all things.
Melody is like "So Henry, you'll have to go down the hill with those crutches because I can't pull this car down in the yard."
That car has been down in the yard multiple times before, but she can't pull it down there so her "pride and joy of a future son-in-law."
Anyway.
It's like 9 PM.
There's dew on the ground.
The grass, especially.
And there's a steep hill that he'd have to go down in crutches.
As opposed to taking the steps, which are RIGHT beside the hill.
They go down the hill.
Or up, whichever way you're coming.
Anyway.
I've been on crutches before, and I know from experience that going down a steep hill with dew on it at night when its dark with crutches is probably one of the dumbest things a person could do.
So I tried to speak up.
"Melody, I don't think that's such a good idea," I said.
Kaitlyn AND Henry himself! agreed with me.
But no, Melody wanted to argue.
"Wellnothestepsareharderandtakemoretimeandblahzedeblazedehblahhh."
I'm just like "Well I'm not trying to insist, but I know from experience that it's easier to take the steps, even if it does take more time."
"OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAYYYY! FINE WE'LL LISTEN TO YOU HE CAN GO DOWN THE STEPS BUT I SWEAR I WORKED AT UVA FOR SO MANY YEARS I KNOW ITS HARDER TO GO DOWN STEPS."
Kaitlyn stood up for me.
"Mama, why are you yelling at Allie? She was just trying to be helpful and keep the boy from falling, she wasn't trying to argue with you."
"Yeah Kaitlyn I know, but I'm just saying I think it'd be easier but whatever.."
I didn't say another word until I told her goodbye, about 10 or 15 minutes later.
I had no more to say.
Kaitlyn knew I was pissed.
I didn't say anything to her.
But she knew.
Anyway.
Then the night was normal.
And boy was I thankful.
I took a shower, talked to Mama for a while, and I was conked out.
I took a pill for a migraine too, if that counts.
I'm getting one just thinking about it.
That sucks.
Anyway.
SHABBA!
Has been one of the most hectic days of my life.
Not the most hectic.
But definitely in the top 10.
It started off normal.
Running a few errands, talking to Grandma and Daddy, whatever.
Linda came over here, and that's becoming the new norm.
Which I'm pretty happy with that.
Love her to pieces.
Anyway.
Melody pops in and asks if I want to go to CVS with her & Kaitlyn to get some hair stuff.
I reluctantly agreed.
So here we go, and pull in the parking lot at CVS.
Kaitlyn's phone rings.
Henry's work.
He's been injured at work and we had to pick him up immediately and take him to the urgent care clinic that they work with.
Okay.
So Melody still made it an issue to run into CVS.
They couldn't wait to buy some fingernails to put on, and hairspray?
Really?
Oh, and mousse.
That couldn't wait to go get him?
Anyway.
Then we went and got him.
The poor boy's foot was swelled up to the size of my thigh.
It was a mixture of bright hot pink, deep red, neon blue, and a pretty shade of purple.
Ridiculous.
A pallet full of boxes, altogether it weighed approximately 400-500 lbs.
Fell on his foot.
I felt the pain for him, because I know how it feels to have a foot injury like that.
Twice.
Anyway.
Took him over there.
I ended up having to fill out the paperwork because Melody was too nervous and Henry was in too much pain.
Kaitlyn just stayed out of it because Melody insisted that she did because all she did was yell at her the entire time.
That made me mad as it was.
Anyway.
Then they got him back there, the doctor looked at it and said he'd take an x-ray and give him Ibuprofen for pain.
True, Ibuprofen probably isn't gonna do much.
But these pain-killer addicts decide to make a big hooplah about the fact that he needs something stronger to kill the pain.
This fool Melody is gonna LEAVE THE EXAM ROOM and track down a nurse, and ask for something stronger.
They got the doctor to change it to something else.
A shot.
Supposedly that started to take the edge of the pain off.
I mean I understand that he needed something stronger.
But really?
Did they have to make a big deal out of it like they did?
Anohun.
Anyway.
Then the doctor said it wasn't broken according to the x-ray and that he wanted to see Henry back in there today to see if the swelling had gone down or gotten bigger or what.
They made him an appointment for today while he was taking his drug test.
(sidenote: Anytime this company he works for sends people from the job to this place, they have to have a drug test)
And a note for work for today.
Of course Melody didn't like that, because that means he can't get out and make that $$$$$$$$.
She's starving like a shark for $$$$$$$$$$$$$.
And its fracking annoying.
Ugh.
Then we went to Walgreens to get his prescription.
Lord have mercy, this was gonna take 30 minutes or longer.
I wouldnt've minded that normally.
But I was with Melody.
It's not Kaitlyn that I minded being with.
It's Melody.
Don't get me wrong.
I love her.
But.
She.
Irks.
Me.
And.
Gets.
Under.
My.
Skin.
Like.
You.
Would.
Not.
Believe.
I just... I can't deal with it.
She wanted some "of the good name brand of clear nail polish like you have."
Then she wanted color.
Then she wanted sparkles.
Then she wanted clear again.
Then this brand was wrong.
Then this brand was right, but it was the wrong color.
I mean, this GROWN WOMAN was acting like a LITTLE GIRL about what fingernail polish to buy!
And I tried to help her.
I just gave up.
Walked away.
And tried to calm myself in an effort to keep from going off.
Anyway.
Got his prescription, I got some un-needed sweets and some much-needed headbands.
Got checked out, then ignored by this dude at the counter.
Got Henry's meds.
Continued to be talked all over, and continued to get pissed.
Then, of all things.
Melody is like "So Henry, you'll have to go down the hill with those crutches because I can't pull this car down in the yard."
That car has been down in the yard multiple times before, but she can't pull it down there so her "pride and joy of a future son-in-law."
Anyway.
It's like 9 PM.
There's dew on the ground.
The grass, especially.
And there's a steep hill that he'd have to go down in crutches.
As opposed to taking the steps, which are RIGHT beside the hill.
They go down the hill.
Or up, whichever way you're coming.
Anyway.
I've been on crutches before, and I know from experience that going down a steep hill with dew on it at night when its dark with crutches is probably one of the dumbest things a person could do.
So I tried to speak up.
"Melody, I don't think that's such a good idea," I said.
Kaitlyn AND Henry himself! agreed with me.
But no, Melody wanted to argue.
"Wellnothestepsareharderandtakemoretimeandblahzedeblazedehblahhh."
I'm just like "Well I'm not trying to insist, but I know from experience that it's easier to take the steps, even if it does take more time."
"OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAYYYY! FINE WE'LL LISTEN TO YOU HE CAN GO DOWN THE STEPS BUT I SWEAR I WORKED AT UVA FOR SO MANY YEARS I KNOW ITS HARDER TO GO DOWN STEPS."
Kaitlyn stood up for me.
"Mama, why are you yelling at Allie? She was just trying to be helpful and keep the boy from falling, she wasn't trying to argue with you."
"Yeah Kaitlyn I know, but I'm just saying I think it'd be easier but whatever.."
I didn't say another word until I told her goodbye, about 10 or 15 minutes later.
I had no more to say.
Kaitlyn knew I was pissed.
I didn't say anything to her.
But she knew.
Anyway.
Then the night was normal.
And boy was I thankful.
I took a shower, talked to Mama for a while, and I was conked out.
I took a pill for a migraine too, if that counts.
I'm getting one just thinking about it.
That sucks.
Anyway.
SHABBA!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
"Man I've Been Workin' Too Hard, 10 Hour Days And I'm Tired."
As I sit here and stare at this picture before me, fists clenched so hard that my nails are literally cutting into my palm in spots and I feel the circulation in part of my hand beginning to disappear, tears of anger, fear, and regret well up in my eyes and I grow more and more emotional.
True story of about 2 minutes ago.
Only part of the stress in my life.
Anyway.
Today was pretty good.
I got up early.
Went shopping with Daddy.
We stopped and got food and all of us sat here and ate- Mama, Daddy and I.
Then he was about to leave and we were standing outside talking.
Melody, Kaitlyn & Harold come strutting up the steps, about to take Harold to work.
Cool.
We stood there and talked more.
Daddy left.
They left.
Then a little later, maybe like an hour later, Jr came home for lunch.
Melody & Kaitlyn came in and talked for a while.
Then I walked outside to check something on the tow truck.
And Linda's rolling down the street.
Linda is our next door neighbor, by the way.
She's also my cousin.
She's great.
Anyway.
So she just got back from therapy and was highly pissed and in pain.
She's been talking to Mama a lot lately since Mama's been through all of that stuff.
Anyway.
So we had Grand Central Station going in here.
Mama, Jr, Melody, Kaitlyn, Linda, and I.
Then Shane shows up.
We all sat there and talked.
Jr went back to work.
Shane just dropped by to say hey and grab something from his big envelope that he needed for work.
Then left.
So all of us still sat here and talked.
Then everyone left.
Melody & Kaitlyn went downstairs to eat.
Linda went to get her kids from school.
When she got back she came right over here again and we talked for another hour and a half or so.
I mainly laughed and giggled because Linda is HILARIOUS.
Anyway.
Then Jr got here and she left shortly after to go get her husband from work.
And that was that.
Our afternoon was basically the usual after that.
I read.
Mama popped bubbles.
Jr farmed.
I got on the computer for a while.
Thought about OSTG.
Gathered my exact thoughts about what I'm gonna write and intended to start writing.
Then I got horribly sleepy.
So I sat the computer down.
Then Mama wanted me to eat dinner with her.
So I ate.
Read some more.
Then called Daddy.
Then had a hardcore dance workout that I so desperately needed to release some stress.
But of course it did nothing beneficial for my ankle.
OH.
I didn't tell you all, did I?
Yeah.
Well.
A few years back.
Likeeeeeeeee, 4-ish.
I tore ligaments in my right foot and ankle.
It. Hurt. Like. Holy. High. Heavens.
And I had to be on crutches for about 2 weeks.
Maybe longer, I don't know.
Anyway.
The doctor said it'd heal, but I may still experience problems afterward for perhaps a lifetime.
Popping, occasional pain, swelling randomly, all that fun stuff.
Well I've always had issues with the popping since then.
That doesn't hurt.
It just feels funny but relaxes it at the same time.
Occasionally I'd have pain.
Never had swelling since the time I was on crutches.
Then.
Sunday.
Daddy and I went out for a walk after our dinner, like I said in my previous post.
My ankle started hurting pretty badly, but I didn't think anything of it.
I didn't have on the best shoes for walking, and my body was tired and I probably just needed to exercise it.
That's what I thought.
It was doing a little popping while I was walking, which is kind of rare, but I thought nothing of it.
There was a little burning sensation, but nothing like the original time.
And I shrugged it off and tried to take my mind off of the pain.
To no avail.
I just didn't say anything to anyone though, because it's obvious that no one cares except for one person.
I'll get to that.
Anyway.
I got home and was about to get undressed to take a shower, and I tried to kick my shoe off.
In pain, of course.
But it wouldn't come off.
Normally I slide them on and off with ease.
Not this time.
I looked down and my entire foot was bigger than the shoe in size, but it was compacted into the shoe somehow and had like molded itself to the inside of the shoe and was basically stuck.
I had to wrestle with my own foot and shoe for about 10 minutes before I could finally get the shoe off.
I took a shower really quick, and elevated my foot on my bed with about 5 pillows.
The swelling went down some, and I put ice on it and then a heating pad, just like I had to do the first time.
It helps the pain either way, ligaments or not.
Either way, I relaxed.
Still said nothing to anyone because again, no one would have cared if I did anyway.
So then I talked to Twin.
And ended up falling asleep later.
Shane comes in and finds my leg propped up on all of these pillows and of course wonders wth is going on.
He wakes me up and I was skeptical about telling him at first.
I wasn't sure if he'd shrug me off like everyone else seems to love to do, so I just sorta hesitated.
He continued to inquire, so I explained.
He rubbed it softly with Bengay, which is this muscle rub stuff that heats up the muscles and relaxes them.
It smells like straight up Vick's Vapor Rub, but he didn't mind.
It makes your eyes water and the smell lingers in the room & bed linens and whatnot for DAYS.
But Shane made no fuss about it.
He just massaged it gently and though it hurt, it helped a lot.
When I woke up the next morning, the swelling had gone down significantly and the pain was much better.
I started walking around and doing my normal everyday duties, and it swelled up again and began to hurt again.
But the swelling wasn't as bad.
The pain was worse, though.
I put a brace on and still never said anything to anyone.
I wore socks so that Mom wouldn't see the brace because I didn't want to put her through the aggravation of pretending to care.
Anyway.
Shane came home and I had put more ice on it, and he massaged it again for a little while until it started to aggravate it.
Then he just laid it down softly and talked to me until I fell asleep.
Then this morning, the swelling was gone, but the pain was excruciating.
To put weight on it hurt like never before.
So I put the brace on, put on my tennis shoes and jeans and no one knew.
But by the time I got here from shopping with Daddy, I was so hot I couldn't take it, so I went and put on shorts.
I took off the brace, in hopes that maybe it'd help or something, and in an effort to make myself look normal.
I forced myself to walk normally, without a limp the entire day, until finally, I couldn't take it any longer.
While Linda was here, I got up and went in my room, slid the brace on, and came out.
I tried to exercise it after that, and never said a word still.
No one mentioned it until hours later.
I knew Jr wouldn't.
Mama, I figured she would have beforehand, but I wasn't surprised when she didn't.
About 3 hours later, she stared at the computer screen, never breaking her gaze to glance at me.
"What's wrong with your ankle," she asked in an aggravated tone.
"It's swolen and hurts. Feels like when I tore those ligaments, but I don't think that's what it is."
Not.
Another.
Word.
DOES NO ONE IN THIS WORLD HAVE AN OUNCE OF CARING FOR ME IN THEIR BODY TO THE POINT WHERE NO ONE CAN EVEN FAKE CARING ABOUT ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I just don't get it.
I don't mean to complain.
But hear me out, please.
You can't interrupt me and talk about yourself instead, so you'll listen, won't you Blogger?
Thank you.
Anyway.
It's a double standard.
What do I do everyday?
Do I not sit here and listen to people's problems, and help them with whatever is going on in their lives?
Is that not my duty?
But yet.
Here I am.
Offering an open ear and a clear shoulder to cry on.
And no one can even take two minutes to listen to me and what's going on in my life?
Am I THAT insignificant, boring, unappreciated, and unimportant that I'm not even worth that?
I don't deserve that much?
I guess not.
And I'm not surprised.
So for the past few weeks, I probably haven't been myself.
I've been trying to figure out what I've been doing that makes people so aggravated with me.
And why I'm not worth the sacrifice of two minutes to listen.
And why everyone appears to be growing more and more annoyed with me by the day.
I've been paranoid for the past few weeks, trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me that makes no one care anymore.
Then I realized what was really going on.
One of two things.
A.) I'm crazy, delusional, and hallucinating, and everyone is acting fine and I'm just imagining everything going on in my life.
Or B.)
No one cared to begin with, and they just pretended to, and slowly, one at a time, they decided that caring about me isn't worth it.
That they truly don't care, and don't wish to try to care.
Or show an ounce of consideration.
Which I mean, I'll deal with it.
I've dealt with worse before.
I just don't know WHAT THE HELL I've done to everyone in my life that makes me seem so unappetizing.
To the point where no one will spare a second of their time to listen.
True, some people in my life have always been like that, and I've dealt with that and learned not to take it personally.
However.
That was all fine and dandy.
I was cool.
Until EVERYONE else in my current life decided to follow their example.
I can only think of one person who either is a perfect pretender, or who truly cares.
I'll keep that person's identity a secret.
I just don't get it.
It's been the focus of my entire recent life.
And I can't think of anything else.
I feel like I'm going crazy slowly.
I feel like I'm depressed.
I feel like I'm going to shoot someone before this stress gets out of my system.
I feel like I'm going to need an overwhelming amount of Prozac.
I feel like I'm going to go crazy if I don't get this out of my system.
I feel like I'm going to go crazy if I don't go crazy first.
Yeah, that made no sense.
That entire rant made no sense to anyone but me, I'm sure.
Not that anyone cares.
Because they've already shown me that they don't.
With the exception of one person.
And honestly, I'm surprised that that one person cares.
I don't know why this person cares, but all I can do is thank this person epically.
This person is giving me all that I need right now, and that's an ounce of a ray of happiness in this doom dark-filled padded room that I find myself locked in for an undisclosed amount of time.
SHABBA!
True story of about 2 minutes ago.
Only part of the stress in my life.
Anyway.
Today was pretty good.
I got up early.
Went shopping with Daddy.
We stopped and got food and all of us sat here and ate- Mama, Daddy and I.
Then he was about to leave and we were standing outside talking.
Melody, Kaitlyn & Harold come strutting up the steps, about to take Harold to work.
Cool.
We stood there and talked more.
Daddy left.
They left.
Then a little later, maybe like an hour later, Jr came home for lunch.
Melody & Kaitlyn came in and talked for a while.
Then I walked outside to check something on the tow truck.
And Linda's rolling down the street.
Linda is our next door neighbor, by the way.
She's also my cousin.
She's great.
Anyway.
So she just got back from therapy and was highly pissed and in pain.
She's been talking to Mama a lot lately since Mama's been through all of that stuff.
Anyway.
So we had Grand Central Station going in here.
Mama, Jr, Melody, Kaitlyn, Linda, and I.
Then Shane shows up.
We all sat there and talked.
Jr went back to work.
Shane just dropped by to say hey and grab something from his big envelope that he needed for work.
Then left.
So all of us still sat here and talked.
Then everyone left.
Melody & Kaitlyn went downstairs to eat.
Linda went to get her kids from school.
When she got back she came right over here again and we talked for another hour and a half or so.
I mainly laughed and giggled because Linda is HILARIOUS.
Anyway.
Then Jr got here and she left shortly after to go get her husband from work.
And that was that.
Our afternoon was basically the usual after that.
I read.
Mama popped bubbles.
Jr farmed.
I got on the computer for a while.
Thought about OSTG.
Gathered my exact thoughts about what I'm gonna write and intended to start writing.
Then I got horribly sleepy.
So I sat the computer down.
Then Mama wanted me to eat dinner with her.
So I ate.
Read some more.
Then called Daddy.
Then had a hardcore dance workout that I so desperately needed to release some stress.
But of course it did nothing beneficial for my ankle.
OH.
I didn't tell you all, did I?
Yeah.
Well.
A few years back.
Likeeeeeeeee, 4-ish.
I tore ligaments in my right foot and ankle.
It. Hurt. Like. Holy. High. Heavens.
And I had to be on crutches for about 2 weeks.
Maybe longer, I don't know.
Anyway.
The doctor said it'd heal, but I may still experience problems afterward for perhaps a lifetime.
Popping, occasional pain, swelling randomly, all that fun stuff.
Well I've always had issues with the popping since then.
That doesn't hurt.
It just feels funny but relaxes it at the same time.
Occasionally I'd have pain.
Never had swelling since the time I was on crutches.
Then.
Sunday.
Daddy and I went out for a walk after our dinner, like I said in my previous post.
My ankle started hurting pretty badly, but I didn't think anything of it.
I didn't have on the best shoes for walking, and my body was tired and I probably just needed to exercise it.
That's what I thought.
It was doing a little popping while I was walking, which is kind of rare, but I thought nothing of it.
There was a little burning sensation, but nothing like the original time.
And I shrugged it off and tried to take my mind off of the pain.
To no avail.
I just didn't say anything to anyone though, because it's obvious that no one cares except for one person.
I'll get to that.
Anyway.
I got home and was about to get undressed to take a shower, and I tried to kick my shoe off.
In pain, of course.
But it wouldn't come off.
Normally I slide them on and off with ease.
Not this time.
I looked down and my entire foot was bigger than the shoe in size, but it was compacted into the shoe somehow and had like molded itself to the inside of the shoe and was basically stuck.
I had to wrestle with my own foot and shoe for about 10 minutes before I could finally get the shoe off.
I took a shower really quick, and elevated my foot on my bed with about 5 pillows.
The swelling went down some, and I put ice on it and then a heating pad, just like I had to do the first time.
It helps the pain either way, ligaments or not.
Either way, I relaxed.
Still said nothing to anyone because again, no one would have cared if I did anyway.
So then I talked to Twin.
And ended up falling asleep later.
Shane comes in and finds my leg propped up on all of these pillows and of course wonders wth is going on.
He wakes me up and I was skeptical about telling him at first.
I wasn't sure if he'd shrug me off like everyone else seems to love to do, so I just sorta hesitated.
He continued to inquire, so I explained.
He rubbed it softly with Bengay, which is this muscle rub stuff that heats up the muscles and relaxes them.
It smells like straight up Vick's Vapor Rub, but he didn't mind.
It makes your eyes water and the smell lingers in the room & bed linens and whatnot for DAYS.
But Shane made no fuss about it.
He just massaged it gently and though it hurt, it helped a lot.
When I woke up the next morning, the swelling had gone down significantly and the pain was much better.
I started walking around and doing my normal everyday duties, and it swelled up again and began to hurt again.
But the swelling wasn't as bad.
The pain was worse, though.
I put a brace on and still never said anything to anyone.
I wore socks so that Mom wouldn't see the brace because I didn't want to put her through the aggravation of pretending to care.
Anyway.
Shane came home and I had put more ice on it, and he massaged it again for a little while until it started to aggravate it.
Then he just laid it down softly and talked to me until I fell asleep.
Then this morning, the swelling was gone, but the pain was excruciating.
To put weight on it hurt like never before.
So I put the brace on, put on my tennis shoes and jeans and no one knew.
But by the time I got here from shopping with Daddy, I was so hot I couldn't take it, so I went and put on shorts.
I took off the brace, in hopes that maybe it'd help or something, and in an effort to make myself look normal.
I forced myself to walk normally, without a limp the entire day, until finally, I couldn't take it any longer.
While Linda was here, I got up and went in my room, slid the brace on, and came out.
I tried to exercise it after that, and never said a word still.
No one mentioned it until hours later.
I knew Jr wouldn't.
Mama, I figured she would have beforehand, but I wasn't surprised when she didn't.
About 3 hours later, she stared at the computer screen, never breaking her gaze to glance at me.
"What's wrong with your ankle," she asked in an aggravated tone.
"It's swolen and hurts. Feels like when I tore those ligaments, but I don't think that's what it is."
Not.
Another.
Word.
DOES NO ONE IN THIS WORLD HAVE AN OUNCE OF CARING FOR ME IN THEIR BODY TO THE POINT WHERE NO ONE CAN EVEN FAKE CARING ABOUT ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I just don't get it.
I don't mean to complain.
But hear me out, please.
You can't interrupt me and talk about yourself instead, so you'll listen, won't you Blogger?
Thank you.
Anyway.
It's a double standard.
What do I do everyday?
Do I not sit here and listen to people's problems, and help them with whatever is going on in their lives?
Is that not my duty?
But yet.
Here I am.
Offering an open ear and a clear shoulder to cry on.
And no one can even take two minutes to listen to me and what's going on in my life?
Am I THAT insignificant, boring, unappreciated, and unimportant that I'm not even worth that?
I don't deserve that much?
I guess not.
And I'm not surprised.
So for the past few weeks, I probably haven't been myself.
I've been trying to figure out what I've been doing that makes people so aggravated with me.
And why I'm not worth the sacrifice of two minutes to listen.
And why everyone appears to be growing more and more annoyed with me by the day.
I've been paranoid for the past few weeks, trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me that makes no one care anymore.
Then I realized what was really going on.
One of two things.
A.) I'm crazy, delusional, and hallucinating, and everyone is acting fine and I'm just imagining everything going on in my life.
Or B.)
No one cared to begin with, and they just pretended to, and slowly, one at a time, they decided that caring about me isn't worth it.
That they truly don't care, and don't wish to try to care.
Or show an ounce of consideration.
Which I mean, I'll deal with it.
I've dealt with worse before.
I just don't know WHAT THE HELL I've done to everyone in my life that makes me seem so unappetizing.
To the point where no one will spare a second of their time to listen.
True, some people in my life have always been like that, and I've dealt with that and learned not to take it personally.
However.
That was all fine and dandy.
I was cool.
Until EVERYONE else in my current life decided to follow their example.
I can only think of one person who either is a perfect pretender, or who truly cares.
I'll keep that person's identity a secret.
I just don't get it.
It's been the focus of my entire recent life.
And I can't think of anything else.
I feel like I'm going crazy slowly.
I feel like I'm depressed.
I feel like I'm going to shoot someone before this stress gets out of my system.
I feel like I'm going to need an overwhelming amount of Prozac.
I feel like I'm going to go crazy if I don't get this out of my system.
I feel like I'm going to go crazy if I don't go crazy first.
Yeah, that made no sense.
That entire rant made no sense to anyone but me, I'm sure.
Not that anyone cares.
Because they've already shown me that they don't.
With the exception of one person.
And honestly, I'm surprised that that one person cares.
I don't know why this person cares, but all I can do is thank this person epically.
This person is giving me all that I need right now, and that's an ounce of a ray of happiness in this doom dark-filled padded room that I find myself locked in for an undisclosed amount of time.
SHABBA!
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