Dueces.

"All that bullshit is for the birds, you ain't nothing but a vulture, uh-uh-uh.
Always hoping for the worst, waiting for me to fuck up.
You'll regret the day when I find another [guy], yeah.
You know just what I need, and you know just what I mean, when I tell you keep it drama free.
Ooooh, oh, oh oh oh oh oh oh, dueces. Ooooh, oh, oh oh oh oh oh oh, ch-chunkin' up the dueces.
Told you that I'm leavin...
I know you mad but so what? I wish you best of luck, and now I'm finna throw them dueces up!
I'm on some new shit, I'm chunkin my dueces up, to [him].
I'm movin' on to somethin' better, better, better.
No more tryna make it work.
You make me wanna say, bye bye, say, bye bye, say, bye bye, to [him].
You make me wanna say, bye bye, say, bye bye, say, bye bye, to [him].
Uh, used to be valentines, together all the time.
Thought it was true love, but you know [men] lie.
It's like I sent my love with a text two times.
Call because I care but I ain't gettin no reply.
Tryna see eye to eye but it's like we both blind,
Fuck it let's hit the club, I rarely sip but pore me some.
Because when it's all said and done, I ain't gon be the one that [he] can always run to.
I hate liars, fuck love I'm tired of tryin.
My heart big but it beat quiet...
I don't never feel like we vibin, because everytime we alone it's an awkward silence.
So leave your keys on the kitchen counter, and give me back that ruby ring with the big diamond.
Shit is over, so whatchu trippin for?
I don't wanna have to let you go,
But baby, I think it's better if I let you know...
I'm on some new shit, I'm chunkin my dueces up, to [him].
I'm movin' on to somethin' better, better, better.
No more tryna make it work.
You make me wanna say, bye bye, say, bye bye, say, bye bye, to [him].
You make me wanna say, bye bye, say, bye bye, say, bye bye, to [him]."

There couldn't possibly be any song that could describe how I feel right now more than this one.
Thanks Chris Brown.
I'm totally throwin up the dueces.
I'm done.
Like lemme break it down.
"All this bullshit is for the birds, you ain't nothin' but a vulture" is just like AHHHHH, true, because that's all he's being- a vulture.
He's out for more than he can handle and not worrying about what's really good for him, and he's going about it the wrong way, yet still pretending like nothing's wrong when you talk to me.
Yeah. Vulture.
"You'll regret the day when I find another [guy], yeah." Should we come to blows [not even like that] and have a discussion about this, and a breakup come out of it, he'll regret when he's with her and then he can't trust her & isn't satisfied because he thinks she's a hoe like he did back then. He'll realize that he was wrong, and that I was all that he was looking for wrapped up into a short little package, like he always said, and that'll be his fault. He'll regret it especially once I find someone else [if I even worry about that, because at this point I'm done with love] and he sees pictures of us and whatnot...he'll regret it and realize that all of the promises that were unfulfilled, dreams unmet, goals abandoned, and wishes disregarded are exactly what he wants, and he wants it with ME, not HER.
"I know you mad but so what? I wish you best of luck, and now I'm finna throw them dueces up!" He'll say that it's not true, and that he still loves me, and try to deny it, but my thing is- how do I know she's the only other one? I mean if I'm seeing proof of it right before my eyes like this, imagine what's going on behind my back? He'll be pissed, but whatever. And I do wish him the best of luck. He's come a long way, and I'm proud of him no matter what. But I can't take this uncertainty and lack of trust, so I'm throwin the dueces up...
"I'm movin' on to somethin' better, better, better. No more tryna make it work." We've been "tryna make it work" since November, and I'm tired of trying. I'll move on to someone who I can trust and who won't blatantly cheat on me right in front of my online face, if I don't just stay single for the rest of my life.
"Uh, used to be valentines, together all the time. Thought it was true love, but you know [men] lie." This is beyond true, because I never thought that anything like this would occur between us. We used to be like valentines all the time, just happily in love with a few issues but nothing like this. I was convinced that it was true love, just perfection, but apparently he's a liar and a cheater and I can't take that. I've been through enough with relationships and I just can't take that. Furthermore, I don't deserve that. So thanks to his decisions, these valentines are being split right in half and that's the end of that.
"It's like I sent my love with a text two times. Call because I care but I ain't gettin no reply." Clearly I made comment back on FB, sent him a FB message, a text as well, and it's quite obvious that he got them all because if he can get on and get HER stuff and write on HER wall and have nostalgic conversations with her about fucking gummy worms and "You know I can still tell when you're lying right?" and comment on her picture that has a caption of "he make me smile" and say "word :)" meaning "yeah I know I do, that's what's up bae, love you," in the undercover version...I'm more hurt than anything. Like not even jealous, just...hurt. Really hurt. It's like, even though we technically aren't together, we agreed that we're "dating without calling it that." So can someone, anyone out there, please explain to me how it makes sense that we're "together without the title" but yet he has the freedom to go and flirt as he wants, but yet I've been here for these last 2 months, RELIGIOUSLY writing him letters every night and day and spending my hard-earned money to pay for postage to mail them to freaking Texas, ripping and running here and there to the post office and mailbox to make sure that there's nothing new there from him, and pretty much put my happiness on hold and lied to EVERYONE in my life, including myself, and now he's gonna turn around and act like this?! And go around talking to this floosie that CLEARLY he said he didn't want in the first place after they broke up...and just leave me hanging, not even tell me what's up, nothing? *deep breath, wipe away the tears, toughen the skin & move on*

I don't even feel like analyzing any more lyrics.
That right there, that last big paragraph, it describes how I feel.
I need to stop before I have an aneurysm.
Anyway, I'm flippin the middle finger up and the index finger is following because I'm done.
Worst part?
I can't talk to anyone about it.
Which is my fault.
So I've learned my lesson on multiple things.
A.) Don't trust ANYONE, it only gets you screwed over in the end.
B.) Don't fall head-over-heels when you're in a situation where the person isn't trustworthy & isn't able to physically be there for you.
C.) Don't lie.
Three lessons I should have learned a long time ago.

SHABBA.